Jonespwns's Weblog

LHC amongst other things

jonespwns — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 12:45:52 +0000

http://xkcd.com/401/ - Cartoon about the LHC

http://www.lhcountdown.com/ - countdown for the LHC

The LHC (Large Hadron Collider) is a big machine built underneath the Franco-Swiss border. It smashes up protons to find what’s inside of them, much like smashing clocks together to see how they work.

Most people know about the LHC because the news says that it will create black holes that will kill us all, well I have somethign to tell you, the news lies! Like that thing in Ethiopia, never happened. I could tell you why this won’t happen but I’m afraid it would ruin my “reputation” as a “funny” blog writer.

Anyway, here is a link to Alex booth’s blog, though most of you will already have seen it: http://longhairedmuppet.weebly.com/

Oh, an update on thursday’s blog, I may be getting a job at BHS and could have earned about £600 by the end of the hols, yay!

To round of this blog of mixed emotions I will leave you with a link to THE BEST game reviewer on the web’s GTA 4 video. Even if you don’t like games you should still watch them because of their fast-talking, sarcastic humour : http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/48-Grand-Theft-Auto-IV

Part Time Jobs

jonespwns — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 19:56:56 +0000

Why do I have to get a job? Stephen Fry didn’t bother to get a job, and he turned out all right. Me and Stephen have a lot in common, we’re both English, succesful and homosex – I mean we both know a lot. *shifty-eyes*

Seriously though, the only place I’ve found so far that will offer me a job is Mcdonalds. And I promised to myself that I would rather cut of my testicles with a blunt and rusty bread knife and feed it to a pack of hungry dogs before I worked in that greasy hell-hole.

Reasons Not to work in Mcdonalds:

They pay less than minimum wage
The greasy air causes skin cancer
All regional managers of Mcdonalds are convicted pedophiles
They rape the rainforest

I suppose I could work at the Park Royal hotel, as a bedpan boy. Or a house maid. Oh wait I’ve got a better idea!

Give to The Samuel Jones Trust Fund! All Money will go to Sam Jones or your money back!

Seriously though, if any of you people out there have any ideas where i could work I’d love to hear them!

EDIT: WOAH! Type jonespwns into google and you find my blog! Epic. My plan to become famous, assasinate arnold schwarzenegger, and become president of the Canadian Alliance is pat way complete!

Hello Friends and Pedophiles alike!

jonespwns — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 16:46:20 +0000

Having finished my exams and exhausting all other means of entertaining myself (and almost ripping my cock off due to sheer boredom) I decided to jump on the ‘ooh look at me I’ve got a blog’ bandwagon joining Alex “The Sexy Muppet” Booth and Neil “Neil” Andrew. The smarmy bastards.

Seeing as you’ve read this far why not read on, I find reading in a rich new york accent gives maximum humor, unless you also imagine me writing in a tutu, dancing to Pyotr Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake, surrounded by bulky sailors. And eating cake. . . Where am I?

Anyway, unless this blog is on the fast track to a quickie backstreet abortion in one of the many backstreets off London Road, I will be updating it every time DFS has another sale. So everyday thereabouts.

I now leave you with this picture of the world’s biggest Afro:

EDIT: I have been told that – under my own freewill – I have to inform you that Neil owns the rights to ending a blog with a picture. And also his blog kicks major ass. Can you point the gun away now Neil?

http://boredstudent.wordpress.com/